Monthly Archives: March 2012

It’s a long way to the top….

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if you wanna rock n’ roll……and be pregnant in New Orleans during the hottest months of the year!  This pregnancy is so different from when I was pregnant with Sailor.  For one, all I crave is sweets, which is not in my nature in general.  And two, I actually have a baby belly this go round, which is awesome!  But with great choices, comes great responsibility and boy am I learning that!

I am terribly tired.  I am working a lot and that is helpful and awesome and rewarding for me, but….I am tired.  Also, I feel like I do not have a support system here.  Once again, we are trapped in a world where everything is exciting and new and there are precious few to share those feelings with.  I feel out of my element.  I wish it was easier, and then I remember that life isn’t always easy, or expected, or even fair.

I wonder if my expectations are monumental, or if they are, in fact, elementary and there is just noone to fulfill the roles for which they have been created.  Am I expecting too much, or receiving too little?  Am I selfish?  Is it hormones? Oh, the peaks and valleys they call pregnancy.

I created an Amazon baby registry this week, but I am not even sure why.  I feel selfish for asking for help.  Needy.  But then, I think, everyone else does it….why not dream of things that others dream.  Why not want?  And the wanting always brings guilt, so in retrospect, maybe it is a bad idea.

Alright, I have decided that tonight may not be the best of nights for blogging.  I will try again later this week.  I am too wound up with emotion and the new Ben & Jerry Red Velvet Cake ice cream is calling my name. So here’s to sugar induced comas.